Last week, as I tidied my home and listened to the news, I found myself repeating the words, “What’s going on, what’s going on...” There’s something about a song that provides a lens through which we can reflect on the pressing issues in our society. During the last week social justice themes are being highlighted. In addition, emotional turmoil are experienced by many, especially those who are already vulnerable and who have fled to the UK for refuge. Since then, I’ve played Marvin Gaye's timeless track almost every day, almost as a way to process my own feelings about the deaths of three children and the riots that have since dominated the news for over a week now.
Released on January 20, 1971, "What’s Going On" remains strikingly relevant to our lives today. The first line of the song, “Mother, mother, there’s too many of you crying,” resonates deeply in light of the recent tragedy, 29th July in Southport, Merseyside, where the horrific stabbing of children stunned the nation. What we witnessed on television was the neighbourhood and town of Southport coming together in the overwhelming tide of collective grief. As a parent and grandmother, I felt a profound sadness for all the parents who lost their precious children. My heart also aches for those whose children have been physically, emotionally, and mentally scarred by the events of that day—experiences that will forever change their lives.
“Don't punish me with brutality, Talk to me, So you can see, Oh what’s going on…”
I often hear that the UK is no longer a racist country and that times have changed, so we, people of colour need to stop talking about how we were treated in the past, as we, the white people of today, did not cause it. Yet it is harrowing to witness racially motivated riots and to see hotels housing asylum seekers being set on fire while hearing the chants of “send them back.” Mosques being attacked is disgraceful. The individuals living in those hotels were already traumatised, having risked their lives to flee their countries in search of safety. Now, they are being re-traumatised by a hostile and racist crowd. And let’s not forget the re-traumatisation of Black people in communities and the vicarious trauma experienced by those watching these events unfold. There will be anxieties amongst any person of colour, concerns of whether they should go out or stay in order to feel safe as not knowing if they will be next.
How quickly history is forgotten while being repeated. “In 1939, the British Indian Army numbered 205,000 men. It took in volunteers and, by 1945, was the largest all-volunteer force in history, rising to over 3.35 million men.*” Immigrants helped England win the war, and because of their bravery, many were awarded the George Cross among other honours. And let’s not forget the Windrush generation, who were invited by the ‘mother country’ to come and help rebuild the ‘motherland’ after the war. Many black men, already here in the UK, helped in the war efforts of World War I and men and women from the Caribbean served in World War II.
“Father, father
We don't need to escalate
You see, war is not the answer
For only love can conquer hate
You know we've got to find a way
To bring some lovin' here today…”
While some may argue that the UK is a racist country, to say so would imply that the vast majority of its people are racist. Times are changing, as we witnessed this week when anti-racist groups came out in solidarity, outnumbering far-right groups in some areas. They formed a protective wall around the hotels housing those seeking refuge and created a peaceful barrier behind the police. As I write this paragraph, tears are streaming down my face. As a Black person, witnessing this love in action—signalling a glimmer of hope—feels like releasing a pressure valve of fear, concern, and anxiety that I didn’t even realise I was holding. Thank you to all those who are allies in the fight against hate.
As a psychotherapist, I bear witness to the complexities and conflicts that clients struggle with, not only within themselves but also within relationships, as they try to make sense of what’s going on. As a mother, another set of parents has been occupying my mind as well: the parents of the perpetrator. No parent wants to hear that their child has caused the death and pain of others. They, too, are hurting, fearful and crying, and I hope empathy and compassion are also being extended to them in the wake of such a tragedy.
In these times of unrest, caring for our mental health is as vital as caring for our communities. One of the ways I take care of my mental health is by limiting what I watch on TV. I know what disturbs me, so I take control and choose what I listen to or view. I consume just enough information to stay informed without becoming overwhelmed. I encourage you to reach out to others—to talk and share your feelings. If you need additional support, seek therapy or contact the Samaritans, who are available 24/7 with a listening ear at 116 123. Find what works for you; it might be a walk, exercise, reading, or, like me, enjoying a good comedy. In fact, over the last two weeks, I’ve found myself watching Monk on Netflix.
Let us strive for understanding, connection, and resilience as we come together to answer the question: What’s going on?
*Compton McKenzie (1951). Eastern Epic. Chatto & Windus, London., p. 1
Photo credit: © Ian Hammett
