The journey that led me to become a psychotherapist is deeply rooted in a pivotal moment of my life. It was 1996, whilst living in the USA. A friend who came to visit for a couple days, noticing how tired and drained I was, arranged through another friend, an appointment for me to see a gynaecologist and after some tests I agreed to have a partial hysterectomy, meaning my ovaries would not be removed - I figured I was already moody with them so heavens knows what I would be like without them.
The night before the scheduled operation, I received a call from my doctor. The tests found some abnormal cells, halting the surgery and prompting further investigation that was needed before another surgery could be booked. Somehow, I persuaded the doctor to book the surgery anyway, with the hope the results would come back before the surgery and it would be all clear.
A couple of weeks later, I turned up at the hospital on the morning of the surgery and was prepped. Before being wheeled into the surgery, the surgeon came to me and said the test shows some pre-cancer cells and they will not know how serious it is until they take a look. If it is serious and it has spread they will need to make a decision. I agreed, by signing a paper, that if it was full blown cancer and it had spread they could give me a full hysterectomy if not they would continue as planned with a partial hysterectomy.
After surgery, I was put in a private room. As I laid there, waiting for the doctor, introspection became inevitable, I thought if it is cancer and I die, I will die an unhappy woman, not because of cancer but because of the effects of trauma that was housed in my body for decades. Reflecting on past traumas and the facade I wore to conceal inner pain, a resolve emerged. Regardless of the medical outcome, a decision was made to live authentically, sparking a commitment to seek therapy for healing from the trauma I carried inside myself. The doctor came back with good news, although it was pre-cancer cells, they got it all, it had not spread and I was given a partial hysterectomy - thank you Jesus!
Post-surgery, the relief of a positive diagnosis reinforced my resolve. During my recovery, I wrote letters to my closest friends telling them I would be embarking on a therapy journey. I told them that I did not know who I would be during this time, I simple asked that they continue to love and support me as I go through all the different ups and downs of emotions, and they were all extremely supportive.
This unexpected health scare served as a poignant reminder of how adverse life experiences, can profoundly affect us. Just as physical health issues can arise unexpectedly, the hidden wounds of past traumas and unaddressed emotional scars can silently eat away at our mental well-being.
I had become so used to feeling tired and exhausted, it took the intervention of friends to arrange the appointment which led to the routine tests. Without their timely help, the outcome could have been totally different. Research has shown, *“People from black-African and Caribbean communities are 40% are more likely than white-British people to come into contact with mental health services through the criminal justice system.” This is because they reached a crisis. Through my friends helping me a crisis was avoided.
Now, as a psychotherapist, my work holds immense significance. Drawing from personal trauma, my heightened awareness and listening skills, often I encounter individuals in my community bearing unseen burdens, their pain palpable in their demeanour and what they say. This is why my work is important to me, I want others to feel and to experience the freedom that awaits them through the help of therapy.
Through my shared journey of embracing life authentically post-trauma, I am on a mission to inspire those around me to confront their own pain and choose a path of genuine self-discovery and healing. Once we can look at our trauma head on and decide no more will this dominate my life, we’ve taken the first step. Let us embark on this journey of healing, resilience and empowerment together, embracing life in its fullness with courage and authenticity… Boa Me na Me Mmoa Wo
*https://www.england.nhs.uk/wp-content/uploads/2020/10/00159-advancing-mental-health-equalities-strategy.pdf
